Your Song
by AutumnDoe
Summary: Catherine opens up about her feelings for a certain coworker. SongFic and YoBling!


**Disclaimer:** I don't own CSI or the characters involved in this story, neither do I own any rights to the song featured in this story, Kate Walsh - Your Song.

* * *

_Haven't you heard?  
I'm stuck on a face  
I'm stuck on a boy who fills me with joy  
I knew I was wrong to  
jump straight on into the picture so pretty  
But he is so pretty to me_

Why does love have to be so complicated? Maybe I'm just unlovable, that what I've been told in the past. I've never been good at the whole relationship concept before. Hell I've never been good at opening up to anyone. I've almost given up on love, or maybe it's given up on me. Eddie, Chris, Adam, even Mike Keppler, everyone one of them failed, and every one I had my heat broken time after time, now the walls are thick around my heart and it takes a special person to knock them down again. I know you're the only one I've ever wanted. Everyone notices our constant flirtations, and our friendship that seems like something more, everyone that is but him. Until you got married, then I was so stupid to jump in there and tell you how I feel, at the most inappropriate time. Things were so awkward after that, I miss you. Lindsay misses you. We barely talk, it's like we're not friends any more. But I want you back, I need you. There's a part of me that's missing without you in my life, and I wish you could love me back.

_  
And he doesn't know just how far I would go  
Just to kiss him  
He doesn't know I pine_

I remember that time in the storm drain, when you held me safe in your strong arms, your skin dark contrasting against mine and for a moment I saw something in your eyes. Desire, maybe something more than that, and I contemplate now on how badly I wanted to feel your lips against mine, knowing that I will never have that chance again. Where did everything go wrong? You married Tina, and I retreated into my own world. I noticed that blank look that you have whenever I walk past. Are you angry with me? I know you know how I feel, so why didn't you say anything? I told you all about my fantasy.

_So I make whirlpools  
And watch him sparkle  
And we'll make love make magic_

_And haven't you heard?  
I thought I had first  
And he loves me so  
We're two in a row  
Just look in his eyes  
They're blue as the skies  
are picture so pretty  
but he is so pretty to me_

There were times when I thought you were going to say something. The time at that restaurant, all the times you passed me in the corridor, the times when we worked together on cases and those awkward car journeys that we had to endure together. As I look into your gorgeous eyes, green against blue, I can tell there's something there, even though you don't want to believe it. You're with her, and you're happy, but as long as you wore that gold band, you'll never be with me. Lindsay asks about you, she even asked if you moved away. I never talk about you, I can't bear saying it. You hurt us all by not telling us, by thinking I'd be okay with it. Well I'm not. At the least I thought we were friends, close friends, but now that's ruined. I'm nothing to you anymore.

_So I make whirlpools  
And watch him sparkle  
And we'll make love make magic_

If you gave me a chance, I know we could've made this work. We could swap shifts, we could try. I've loved you for years, but never found the right time to say it. We have something special, everyone else sees it, so why can't you? When you pass me on the corridor, I feel something spark inside me. I've never loved somebody as much as I love you, and it scares me. I just want you to love me back.

_  
But I couldn't tell you  
Just tell that it takes you  
'Cause words don't make  
what I make with you  
_

I guess I'm scared of rejection. I know that sounds hard to believe, you probably think the 'infamous' Catherine Willows can get any guy she wants, but I want so much more than sex. I want you, stings and everything. Lindsay needs a father, and I need you. I'll wait for you, till the end.

_  
Haven't you heard?  
I'm stuck on a face  
I'm stuck on a boy who fills me with joy  
I knew I was wrong  
to jump straight on into this picture so pretty  
but he is so pretty to me_

I know this is stupid, talking to you when I know you can't reply. I feel stupid, but I need to get this out. I thought if I told you how I felt over the years, it might make it easier. It might not. I'm not as strong as everyone expects me to be. I could talk to Gil, but we all know he's socially unstable. Nicks broken and Sara's gone, we've all drifted apart now. I feel like I don't have anyone left. I'd do anything to get you back, to see your face one more time. Warrick Brown, in memoriam.


End file.
